Last night, as I was coughing my lungs out my mom on her own accord, went to cvs to get me meds. In the middle of the night. Earlier, she had made me this amazing lemon cinnamon tea when I got home. I kept thinking, “Damn she’s being nice!”
Our relationship has always been “different!” Touch & go. Mainly because she was young & she raised me to be very independent. Sometimes, I think too independent. My heart & effort, are most certainly of her doing. I think she thinks, she created this monster child she’s never been able to contain. She thinks I think, she’s not that important.
But I so needed her yesterday & I didn’t have to say a word. I would have kept hacking at my lungs. As I have aged, as I have matured my relationships have become deeper , stronger & more meaningful. I appreciate having my mom & so much more than I ever did. The funny thing, is as much I have tried to not need my mother, I absolutely understand now I will always need her.
In 2012, I learned Gratitude. Humility. Grace. Love. As I laid there, awaiting another cough, it hit me how my mom has spent 32 years modeling those exact traits for me. Thank you mom & thank you homie upstairs , for this incredible gift. if I had only paid attention earlier, I would have been then, this woman I am today.