This morning like most mornings, I wake up frustrated. I’m lacking sleep & got a to-do list that seems infinite playing ping pong in my head. My mornings begin w/ a 3 hour process w/ my nana, whose strong nature is being shredded by her loss of memory & a feeling of displacement. Its not by choice, but obligation. When I was little, she cared for me. So maybe its my turn. Its so hard.I’ve been trying to figure out why for the past year I’ve been on this journey, that hasn’t been led by my own decisions. Maybe its fate. Maybe its a test of things in me that have been lacking. Patience. Love. Humility. Faith. A sense of committment to myself & my family & close friends. So I huffed & puffed past her just now while she watched her news in spanish. She giggled. I asked,” ku se ki sta dabu graza”(what’s making you laugh?) She replies, in creole” you sure look ugly when your mad. You aren’t old. Or confused. Or far away from your home. Thank god for that. Reality check 1002.

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